There’s a “Family Disconnect” When It Comes to Discussing the Future
Have you and your adult children had a frank and detailed conversation about your estate and your wishes for the future? Do they know about your will and about your desire for leaving a legacy?
If we were to ask those questions to an average group of parents, according to this insightful article just published on the website Insurance News Net, 70 percent would answer yes – those important conversations with adult children have taken place. But if we posed the same questions to the adult kids, fewer than half would agree. The rest, more than half of adult children, claim they’ve never talked about estate planning or other related future topics with their parents. This is a significant – and potentially costly – disconnect.
This gap in perception between adults and children was revealed in recent findings from the Family and Finance Study produced by Fidelity Investments. The study showed that, while fully 90 percent of parents and children say that it’s important to have frank conversations about estate plans and wills, in too many cases those conversations aren’t happening. “How prepared are American families when it comes to leaving a legacy and discussing estate plans with their loved ones,” asks the Insurance News article? “Perhaps less than they may think.”
Here at AgingOptions we see evidence of this lack of communication almost every day, and we hear about it from radio listeners and guests at our seminars. Mom and Dad may think they have made their future wishes clear to their adult children, but the kids remain in the dark. Then when one or both of the parents passes away, family friction and sibling fights can quickly erupt. “Even in the simplest of family situations,” says Insurance News Net, “conversations that do not occur frequently and in detail may result in fairly substantial family disagreements and disconnects.”
Another statistic caught our eye from this article: the Fidelity study found that in about 70 percent of cases adult children had major misconceptions about the value of the parent’s estate. “On average, children underestimated that value by $278,000,” the study showed. It seems to us that a misunderstanding of that magnitude will only increase the chances for conflicts and disagreements when it comes time to divide the estate.
Here’s one more important question raised by the Insurance News Net article: do your adult children know where to find your important documents such as wills, powers of attorney and healthcare proxies? When Fidelity asked parents that question, 80 percent said yes – but among the sample of adult kids the number who agreed was significantly less, closer to 65 percent. That’s not bad, but it still indicates that you and your adult children may not be communicating as well as you think you are.
We do take some issue with the Insurance News Net article, not because the information is incorrect, but because it seems incomplete. We concur with the basic premise of the Insurance News Net article: aging adults often fail to communicate adequately with their kids about their estate plans. But as is all too common, the article focuses almost entirely on finances, emphasizing the importance of passing along your assets to your heirs with minimal impediments and tax consequences. A solid financial plan is definitely essential, but it is only part of your retirement plan, and if all you do with your adult children is tell them how you want your money disbursed when you pass away, you are doing them a serious disservice.
Aging, as we always say, is a family affair, and that means your family needs to know – and support – all of your wishes as you grow older. Beyond finances, this includes housing, deciding how and where you want to live. It includes your legal documents, which means much more than your last will and testament. Your estate plan will be meaningless if it doesn’t take your medical needs into account, because few things will derail your plans like a medical crisis for which you have not prepared. Is there a type of retirement plan that includes all of these facets? Fortunately there is.
At AgingOptions we proudly offer a unique and comprehensive approach to retirement planning called a LifePlan. Once you have prepared your LifePlan, often including a series of family conferences to make certain everyone close to you is on the same page, you’ll be prepared for a fruitful and secure retirement. You’ll be able to protect your assets while ensuring that you won’t become a burden to those you love. It’s easy to find out more – and there’s no obligation whatsoever: simply plan now to attend one of our free LifePlanning Seminars. Invest just a few hours, and bring your questions – and your adult children if they’ll attend with you. It will open your eyes to the power of this unique, powerful planning strategy.
For a list of upcoming seminars, including online registration, click here, or call us during the week and we’ll be happy to assist you. Additionally, if you feel it’s time for a family conference to review your estate plans with your loved ones, we can definitely guide you. We’ll look forward to meeting you soon.
(originally reported at https://www.insurancenewsnet.com)